Friday, June 26, 2009

Narcissus

She blames him for many things, mostly because she’s unhappy. But she blames him most for leaving her with the emptiness. It pervades through her days, you see, and has now even  managed to permeate  her dreams. She has never liked the feeling of being lost, and that is all she ever dreams about anymore. She blames him for leaving her dreams, because it is always him she is looking for. She is not a princess because she is neither delicate, nor beautiful, and she fears she cares far too much to pretend it doesn’t matter. Her element has always been water, not earth. She likes callous people. She believes the truth only ever comes if one is slightly insensitive. She likes the blunt truth, although she realises it is another thing that often makes her unhappy. She has decided she is far too much of a cynic to be a princess. She is not a princess but she likes being cared for, being looked after by someone who is slightly callous, and a cynic. And this is what she wants more than anything. She is unhappy because the emptiness prevents her from getting what she wants most. She fills this void, however, with Take Care Music, and this is how she tries to look after herself. She believes in having a mirrored perspective, although she takes this far too literally and gazes upon her rippling reflection for hours on end. It is the only thing that truly captivates her, because she is not a princess and the water shows her what she truly is – mottled, volatile, tainted. She is riveted, never enraged. She knows that when she finds what she wants most, she will not be able to say no.

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